


The Road Trip

by orphan_account



Series: young adult friction [10]
Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Multi, Road Trips, and combeferre puts up with A Lot, courfeyrac has shitty music taste, enjolras is trying not to go insane, jean's is obviously superior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 18:32:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Or: how they decided that they were never going to go on vacation together ever again.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road Trip

**Author's Note:**

> Would you believe me if I told you all that this was actually the first part of this AU I ever wrote, and I created the entire AU just for the amis going on a road trip.

It’s Bossuet’s idea; and like each of Bossuet’s ideas, it ends up being an absolute disaster.

“But look at it on the bright side,” says Bahorel later, “you can’t deny it was a summer worth remembering.”

Combeferre and Enjolras plan out the route; it’s a twelve hour drive through a lot of mountain, a lot of wilderness, and a lot of available pit stops along the way to their first destination.

The morning they’re due to leave, Bossuet, Bahorel and Feuilly arrive at Enjolras’ apartment in Feuilly’s jeep. Joly will be going with them, with Grantaire going with the others and Feuilly looks dismayed at the enormous suitcase Joly manhandles into the trunk.

“That’s an awful lot of stuff, Joly…” he trails off.

“I have brought my entire collection of medical books and my first aid kit,” Joly announces, “you never know when something could happen, away from immediate medical care on the highway.”

Feuilly sighs, slams the trunk shut, and goes to make himself a cup of coffee.

It’s still dark outside, and the nine of them are huddled in the front room, hauling out suitcases, packing food, or making last minute bathroom breaks. Combeferre is checking the map for the thousandth time, and ignoring Feuilly who is attempting to explain to him the benefits of a GPS. Grantaire is sneaking an 8-pack of beer among the chips and sandwiches that Bossuet’s packing into the hamper, and ignoring Jehan’s disapproving stare.

“Isn’t Marius coming with us?” asks Grantaire suddenly.

“Nope, he’s spending the summer with his grandfather. And Éponine and Cosette have gone on a spa vacation,” Courfeyrac grins, “too bad about his plans of finally getting laid this summer.”

“You mean _your_ plans to get him laid,” Bahorel cries, far too loud for 6 o’clock in the morning, and Enjolras whacks him around the head with a rolled up newspaper.

After Feuilly, Joly, Bossuet and Bahorel have settled themselves in the jeep (Bahorel is in the backseat with Bossuet; he’s been banned from the front seat ever since he drunkenly mooned a police car one night), they sigh and wait for the inevitable argument over Combeferre’s car.

“Now look,” says Combeferre, hands on his hips, “obviously I have to drive, and Enjolras is taking the front seat with me.”

“Why does he get the front seat?” demands Courfeyrac.

“Because Enjolras is ‘Ferre’s best friend,” supplies Jehan.

“What the hell, I thought I was your best friend,” says Courfeyrac indignantly.

“You’re my second best friend,” replies Combeferre.

“The fuck is a second best friend.”

“You’re my second best friend too,” says Enjolras unhelpfully, as he puts a cushion onto the front seat.

“Am I no one’s first best friend?” asks Courfeyrac, turning to Jehan. “Am I your first best friend?”

“You’re no one’s first best friend,” says Grantaire.

“Rude.”

“Could you guys just get into the goddamned car already?” shouts Bahorel from the jeep.

“Well, since it’s decided that Combeferre and Enjolras get the front, there’s three people left to fit into the back,” says Combeferre.

“Which means…” Grantaire trails off.

There’s a pause, and then Jehan, Grantaire and Courfeyrac are frantically scrambling into the car, attempting to avoid the middle seat. Jehan is a gentle soul, but somehow Courfeyrac manages to get his elbow straight to the face and goes flying onto Grantaire, who curses and kicks him back.

In the end, it’s Courfeyrac who ends up in the middle, and Enjolras knows it’s going to be a long drive.

By the time they pull out onto the highway, an argument has already started over what to listen to. Jehan is loudly calling for Édith Piaf, Courfeyrac is demanding some dreadful reggaeton, while Grantaire, the one with the most foresight, has his ipod and headphones firmly in his ears, listening to the Arctic Monkeys without a care in the world.

Enjolras attempts to placate them by putting on the radio, but at the first song that comes on, they all collectively groan, and he switches it back off again.

There’s quiet for a good five minutes, before suddenly Courfeyrac lunges forward and slips in his ipod. Immediately the entire car is filled with Collie Buddz and Combeferre swerves dangerously.

“Jesus Christ, Courf, I’m trying to drive!”

Courfeyrac sits back in triumph and ignores Jehan’s dagger glare.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in Feuilly’s jeep, Joly has started a friendly game of I spy, which, in a complete shocker turn of events, Bossuet is currently winning. The stereo is quietly playing Feuilly’s Chopin cd, and Bahorel is passing around cans of coke and lemonade.

“Lovely view,” murmurs Bossuet, as he takes pictures on his phone of the mountains passing by. Joly winds down his window a fraction and breathes in the deep, clear mountain air.

 

* * *

 

Courfeyrac’s so called "fantastic car playlist for our amazing road trip", which he spent an hour working on the night before, has now switched to his collection of hip hop songs, and Enjolras can feel his blood pressure rising. Jehan is now complaining of carsickness, and is attempting to wind down his window for some fresh air.

“Jehan, you can’t roll down the window,” says Combeferre from the front, “we’re on the highway again and the wind is actually going to take someone’s head off. Or something to that effect.”

Jehan groans in response and lolls back onto the headrest dramatically.

Grantaire, who has just listened his way through _Favourite Worst Nightmare_ again, presses the button on his door, winds down his window silently and winks over at Jehan. Jehan smiles at him weakly, before they start as the window rolls itself back up again.

Combeferre, one finger on the button that controls all the window settings, grins evilly back at Grantaire.

It turns into a mini tug of war; Grantaire winding down the window and Combeferre winding it back up again. Enjolras has appeared to have fallen asleep, which is an admirable feat, considering Courfeyrac’s ipod is now playing a song which has something to do with a girl wearing magical lip gloss.

Enjolras stirs, blinks at Courfeyrac, and calmly asks, “Courfeyrac. What is this shit.”

He then proceeds to take Jehan’s ipod and plug in Édith Piaf, filling the car with _L'Hymne à l'amour_. Jehan smiles victoriously, and his carsickness suddenly vanishes.

 

* * *

 

 

The current score is as follows:

Joly – 9

Bahorel – 7

Feuilly – 11

Bossuet – 15

And they’ve now moved onto a game of riddles.

 

* * *

 

 

 **Marius Pontmercy:** hey guys! hows the vacation going? sorry i couldn’t come with you all. hope ur all having fun (:

Enjolras looks over at Jehan and Courfeyrac, who are engaged in what appears to be a mock arm wrestle battle, and Grantaire, who is still playing roll-down-the-window-to-win with Combeferre.

 **Enjolras:** I’m having the time of my life. You need to be here to see it.

 **Marius Pontmercy:** wow that’s great! yeah, perhaps next time you guys go on a trip i’ll be able to come with.

Enjolras puts down his phone.

 

* * *

 

 

They stop at a gas station and convenience store combo, because Combeferre needs the bathroom and everyone could do with a break to stretch their legs. Enjolras desperately wants a coffee, but refuses to support big corporations.

Combeferre appears with a coffee and attempts to push it into his hand.

“No.”

“You’ll thank me later.”

“No I won’t.”

“Enj, just take the damn coffee.”

“No.”

Combeferre sighs, and makes his way over to discuss more of the route with Feuilly.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they start off again, it’s nearing midday and Courfeyrac is complaining about the music again.

“Oh for heaven’s sake, Courf,” groans Combeferre, “why don’t we just plug in my ipod since, you know, it’s my car and all.”

“Last time we plugged in your ipod it started playing “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts.”

“Hey, that’s a good song, I’ve got it on my ipod too,” says Grantaire, who by this time has cracked open a can of beer and is drinking it slowly.

Enjolras agrees to act as moderator, and so they begin switching up the music, which involves a lot of ipods, wires and headphones. He also looks mournfully at everyone sitting with their cups of tea and coffee, and makes a haughty sniffing noise when Combeferre offers his cup.

Grantaire begins sketching in a little pad, and Courfeyrac (who is still laboured with the middle seat, but is taking it well since it allows him complete access to the stereo and both Combeferre and Enjolras’ shoulders) looks over to see. It’s not his usual work; instead, it’s a stick figure of who is unmistakably Enjolras in his red jacket, marching into the gas station brandishing a pitchfork and a large _tricolore._ He snorts ungracefully, and Grantaire gives him a wink.

 

* * *

 

 

Bossuet is snoring against the window pane, cheek pressed against the glass, and Bahorel has engaged Joly in a very intense conversation about the specifics of patching someone up who has been shot in the leg. Feuilly is half listening, not paying attention to Combeferre’s car up ahead, and so none of them notice when he takes a left turn and they don’t.

 

* * *

 

 

The relative peace in Combeferre’s car doesn’t last; and before long Courfeyrac, Grantaire and Jehan are arguing over the music choice again. Enjolras is ignoring them and staring out the window, and wondering just why on earth he can’t see Feuilly’s jeep anywhere.

“Hey, ‘Ferre, is it just me or have we lost-”

Jehan reaches over and plucks Courfeyrac’s ipod from the front, and now the three of them are yelling in French, as they often start to do when tempers rise among them. Combeferre angrily pulls over into a service station and stares at the three of them in the back seat.

“Would you lot kindly shut the fuck up and let me drive properly?” he hisses.

There’s a pause, until Enjolras breaks the silence.

“'Ferre, have we lost Feuilly and the others?”

There’s another pause, and Grantaire is the first to speak.

“Aw shit.”

“Someone call him,” Combeferre sighs, and turns off the engine. Enjolras pulls out his cellphone and dials the number, sighing into the cellphone against his ear. It’s Joly who picks up for Feuilly, and they start discussing how to get back to each other.

Courfeyrac, who is not one to be beaten, silently leans forward and puts his ipod back in the holder. Jehan goes to pull him back, and hisses at him, the noise volume rising and rising, until finally Enjolras, who cannot hear a word Joly is saying, brings one closed fist forward to the offending stereo and smashes it.

They all stop; Grantaire, Jehan and Courfeyrac looking at the stereo, Enjolras looking down incredulously at his hand.

“Enjolras ne regrette rien,” offers Jehan weakly.

And then Combeferre’s voice, low and deadly: “You are all getting out of my car. Right now.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Feuilly finally drives into the service station parking lot, the five of them are leaning against the car and Combeferre is glowering darkly.

“Everything alright?” he asks cheerfully. “Sorry about that. We were having such a good time that I missed when you turned off.”

“Take them,” replies Combeferre, “I can’t do it anymore.”

 

* * *

 

 

They end up driving the rest of the way as follows: Combeferre, Bahorel, Joly and Bossuet, and Feuilly, Enjolras, Grantaire, Jehan and Courfeyrac crushed together into the jeep.

By the time they finally arrive it’s nearing 7pm, and all of them are exhausted.

“We are never doing this again,” says Jehan, and all of them agree.

Of course, it only gets worse after that, when the next morning they start arguing over a hotel breakfast about what activity to do first, and Bahorel ends up throwing pancake mix over Joly, who had previously been complaining about the open nature of continental breakfasts and how anyone could have easily sneezed on the eggs. Bossuet, in an attempt to rush to his side, manages to pull an entire table over, and in the end it’s Enjolras and Combeferre who end up paying the hotel for all damages caused.

Grantaire watches the chaos unfold from his table, takes a bite of his nutella and toast, and laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> For reference, the first song is Collie Buddz's "[Mamacita](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLINYTVTlQ4)", and the playlist also includes Lil Mama's "[Lipgloss](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5ck6TJQ5Ow)".
> 
> Thank you for reading/Merci de lire.  
> For questions, hit me up at [tumblr](sassanids.tumblr.com).


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